I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
