I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
