I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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