i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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