He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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