Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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