Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
