girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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