Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I cockslap morals
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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