Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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