He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
