Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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