they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
