i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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