I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
