Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
