Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
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