I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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