My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
