Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
