Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
