i jhust puked up my retainher.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
