I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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