Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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