I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
