im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
