If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize