This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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