oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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