She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry about my life...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
