I'm going to rape someone's good day.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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