I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Fuck appropriateness.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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