He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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