I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
