maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
