yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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