I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize