She is in my trunk
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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