Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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