What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
