all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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