I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
