you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
