we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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