I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize