should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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