Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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