no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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