and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
