well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
