No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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