if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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