doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
