I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize