I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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