You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
