yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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