shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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