yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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